“Loving ourselves through the process of owning our story is the bravest thing we will ever do,” – Brene Brown
Going through the process of dealing with shame is not easy and adding that we should love ourselves seems impossible. It is not impossible though and I believe it will make this journey even more beneficial. See, shame has caused us to not love ourselves…well the true us. We hate this version of ourselves that we have created in our minds from situations we have encountered, society’s expectations, and more. Shame causes us to dislike ourselves when instead that energy of dislike should be aimed elsewhere – like towards our actions. Shame says “ I am a worthless” when instead it should say “I don’t like some areas of myself but those flaws don’t make me worthless” The truth is you are expensive to God – and what God says go! God is not a liar. Check out these scriptures:
1 Corinthians 6:20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.
Matthew 10:29-31 Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows.
Do you see how shame attacks our identity instead of our actions? If shame is the lie we believe about ourselves then what is the truth? The truth is, you are who God says you are. If you have accepted Jesus Christ to be your Lord and Savior then you belong to God and you are who He says you are. To Him, you are not defined by your actions. You are who God says you are. No mess up or wrongdoing can make Him love you less. No good acts and no matter how many times you read your Bible and go to church can make Him love you more. His love for you is final. Once you became apart of the family, He made you new. That’s why you are who He says you. Because He made you a new creation: 2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! Sometimes this new person messes up but at the end of the day that does not change their identity. Your identity is good – you mess up from time to time, but your nature is still good. No, bad works are not ok, but God says He is working in us:
Philippians 2:13 for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.
Ephesians 2:10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.
When shame attacks take a moment and acknowledge the attack on your identity. Remind yourself that “I am a new creation.” Don’t forget that shame is a lie, but the Word of God is truth. So, for you to know the truth about yourself you have to read your Bible. Shame can attack your identity and be successful if you do not know who you are. Here is an example of Shame (the lie) VS Scripture (the truth) using some of the scripture we have already mentioned:
Shame (the lie): I am nothing, worthless, invisible, and unnoticed.
Scripture (the truth):
- I AM VALUABLE: Matthew 10:29-31 Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows.
- I AM EXPENSIVE: 1 Corinthians 6:20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.
- I AM VALUABLE: Matthew 6:26 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?
- I AM GOD’S MASTERPEICE: Ephesians 2:10 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.
- GOD SEES ME: Isaiah 49:15 “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!
- I AM THE APPLE OF GOD’S EYE. Psalm 17:8 Keep me as the apple of your eye;
hide me in the shadow of your wings,. Zechariah 2:8 For thus said the Lord of hosts, after his glory sent me[b] to the nations who plundered you, for he who touches you touches the apple of his eye…
This method can be used with any lie that shame brings. Take some time and write down all the shameful lies you have believed about yourself and then go find the truth! The truth will set you free 😉
I have created a playlist for you to listen to while working on the above list:
Love Always,
Alexandra Dudley